Travel blog #1

Last Sunday my sister in New York gave birth to a little boy.  The bris is going to be this coming Sunday and my sister asked me to be the mohel so Miriam and I left for New York this morning and we will be spending Shabbat with my parents and my sisters and their husbands and children at my parents home in New Jersey.

Miriam and I made it through our first flight with the two girls.  Thankfully they were both very well behaved.
My father picked us up from Newark airport and we headed to my parents home in Teaneck, New Jersey where I grew up.  We picked up a pizza from one of the many Kosher pizza shops in Teaneck, and had dinner at home with my parents and my sister and her husband the the new baby.  My parents were thrilled to see Rayali and to hold Zoey Shayna for the first time.  Rayali loved meeting her new baby cousin and we are all excited for a great shabbat.

The weather in New jersey is unseasonably nice so my father and I decided to walk to shul for Maariv.  We went to the shul where I grew up, Bnei Yeshurun.  Every night at Bnei Yeshurun they have maariv starting at sunset and then every hour, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and then at 10:45.  Each minyan has dozens and dozens of people who come to daven. 

Every time I come back to Bnei Yeshurun I notice some little changes that the shul has made; new carpet, new artwork, new chairs, things like that.  I guess i have acquired an eye for those kind of things after over 10 years in the Rabbi business.  After being away from Teaneck for 15 years those changes start to add up and today the shul is very different than the shul that I grew up in.

And yet, when I went to shul with my father we went to the place that my father has been sitting and davening for as long as I can remember.  I was immediately flooded with a million memories of growing up in shul, spending Shabbat and holidays with family and community, and learning how to talk to Hashem in the same way that Jews have spoken to God for thousands of years.

Today, my shul is Beth Israel, but Bnei Yeshurun will always be the shul that I grew up in and will have a special place in my heart.  The other night was the Bible quiz in Omaha.  Five kids form Beth Israel competed.  I was so proud of each of them and all the work that they put into the contest.  It occurred to me that I have known each of those kids since I moved to Omaha seven years ago.  The oldest of them was 10 when I got to Omaha, the youngest was six years old!!  I think that we have done a great job of making Beth Israel their shul.  I hope that they will have the same feelings for Beth Israel that I have for the shul that i grew up in, and that wherever they go in the future the memories of Beth Israel will always engender a love of Torah, Hashem, and the Jewish people that will stay with them forever.

Today we are getting ready for a big shabbat with family.  Tonight my parents are going to host a shalom zachar for my new nephew.  A shalom Zachar is a party to welcome the new baby to its first shabbat.  After dinner tonight as many as a hundred people will stop by to drink a l'chaim and wish my parents and my sister and her husband well.  Last night and all day today people have been stopping by the house to bring home baked cakes and cookies and liquor.
My mother is also cooking a big dinner for tonight so the house smells really really good right now.
Right now I have to stop blogging and go watch my daughters while Miriam goes with my mother to do some grocery shopping and some other last minute shabbat preparations.
I hope everyone in Omaha has a wonderful Shabbat.  Even in Bnei Yeshurun I will be thinking about shabbat in Beth Israel!
Shabbat shalom.

Vayishlach Rashi Questions

According to Rashi...
1. What kind of messengers did Yaakov send to Esav?  (32:4)
2. What did Yaakov imply when he told Esav "I sojourned" with Lavan?  (32:5)
3. What two contingencies was Yaakov afraid of?  32:8)
4. Where was Dina during the encounter with Esav?  Why?  (32:23)
5. Why did Yaakov leave his camp in the middle of the night?  (32:25)
6. What was Rivka's nurse Devorah doing with Yaakov?  (35:8)
7. Why was Mehetavel's grandmother named Me-Zahav?  (36:39)

Raising Israeli Children in Exile

Above is an Israeli television ad that suggests that Israelis that move to America subject their kids to the possibility that they may lose their Israeli identity.  When asked by the Israeli grandparents what holiday it is today, they are horrified to hear their American grandaughter joyously answer, "Christmas!"  The voice then says, "They will always be Israeli, their kids will not.  help them return to Israel."

To a Jewish blogger this is blog candy!!!  What an amazing ad as a springboard for discussion!!!  As I type I am salavating!  Where to begin???

Here goes:

Frist: are the makers of this ad suggesting that location is the only way to instill identity?  Are we to understand that it is impossible to teach kids about Chanuka in America? 

Maybe they would argue that the chances are better in Israel.  Really?  In my experience in shuls from New Jersey to Los Angeles to Omaha, Nebraska I can say that the reality is exactly the opposite.  Many times I have met Israelis who would never step foot in a synagogue in Israel.  It was only when they came to america that they started to identify. 
Some of the Israelis grew up in areas of Israel that were anti religious and they were completely unaware of some of the major Jewish holidays. 
The Reform Rabbi in Omaha is a typical example that I think many people can identify with.  He grew up in Israel and describes himself as having been secular.  It was only when he came to America that he developed his deep passion for Judaism and actually went on to become a Rabbi.  He would tell you that would never have happened had he stayed in Isarel.
One Israeli woman told me that in Israel she had literally NEVER BEEN IN A SYNAGOGUE IN HER ENTIRE LIFE!  She spent a year here in the states, was attracted to the Jewish community, and started coming frequently to shul.  She made an interesting comment.  She said that Americans have spent hundred of millions on Taglit Birthright sending college students to Israel in the hopes of inspiring them.  She suggested that they have reverse Birthright to send Isarelis to the states to inspire them.

The couple in this commercial is the perfect example.  The girl in that ad clearly does not go to a Jewish day school and probably doesn't even go to a synagogue.  If she did, she would definately know it was Chanuka.  That "Christmas" remark would hopefully serve as a wake up call to those parents and maybe they will choose to affiliate with their local Jewish community, synagogue, and maybe even send their daughter to day school.  Somebody should pay to have that ad aired in cities like LA, Phoenix, and Miami where there are tens of thousands of Isarelis - but change the end to advertize the local jewish day school.

Second: Can you imagine being an Israeli Arab in Israel and watching that ad?  How offensive!!!  If I don't celebrate Chanuka am I somehow less of an Israeli?   And one does not have to be an Arab to be offended.  What if I am an Israeli Christian?  Or an atheist?  Or one of the millions of supposed secular Israelis who spend Yom Kippur by the beach or write cookbooks entirely of pork recipes?  They may not be intersted in teaching their kids about Chanuka - a holiday which, by the way, commemorates the victory of religious Jews over those who chose to assimilate.  Is the government implying that we are somehow less "Israeli?"

Which brings me to my third point:  I didn't catch this on the first time around, only when I watched the video a second time.  The voice at the end of the video says, "They [the parents] will always be Israeli, their kids will not."  It does NOT say, "they will always be Jewish."  It says, "Israeli." 

Lighting a menorah is not an "Israeli" custom.  It's a Jewish custom.  Yes, you can't be an Israeli if you are born and live in America.  That is true.  An American Jew is forever different than an Israeli Jew in that respect unless either one of them decides to move.
American and Israeli Jews are culturly different.  Americans tend to be more polite and Israelis prefer soccer to American football.  Americans go to college after highschool and Israelis go to the army.  There are many differences, but the thing that we share is Judaism.  Judaism is what unites us as a nation.  Judaism existed for 2,000 years before there was a modern state of Israel.  It was Judaism in the diaspora that made the modern state of Israel possible in the first place. 

Judaism is not defined by a location! 

Thousands of years ago the jewish sages wrote that God specifically chose to give the Torah to the Jewish people in the desert - NOT IN THE LAND OF ISRAEL - to emphasize that there are no bounderies when it comes to the Torah, not even the bounderies of the Holy Land!

This very week's Torah portion is about Yaakov when he was forced to flee from Israel because his brother Esav was threatening to kill him.  On his way out he had a dream of angels ascending and deseninding a ladder.  Rashi interprets the dream to mean that God was telling him that even when you leave the land of Israel my presence is with you.  In fact God himself specifically appears in that very dream and says, "I will guard you WHERE EVER YOU GO."

Many of us have heard an Israeli say, "I am not a Jew, I am an Israeli."  I have always been saddened to hear that.  It was the Jewish connection that compelled us to protest for Soviet Jews.  It was the Jewish connection that made the rescue of Ethiopian Jews a priority.  And it is the Jewish connection that inspires Jews around the world to advocate and support Israel.  When Israelis eshew that connection I find it sad.
But this ad, I find offensive.  If they want to create their own "Israeli" culture, that is there perogative, but they have no right to co-opt the symbols of Judaism and claim them as their own.  Let them be Israeli if they want, but let them make up their own symbols. 

If the parents in the ad want their daughter to be Israeli then they have to move back to Israel.  But If they want their kids to be Jewish, even going back to Israel will not do it.  They have to teach their children Torah and raise them in a Jewish household. 

It is surely a mitzvah to live in the land of Israel.  But the Jewish identity is defined by more than just geography.

Rashi Questions for Vayeitze

1. Where did Yaakov have his dream?  (28:11)
2. Why did Lavan greet Yaakov with hugs and kisses?  (29:13)
3. Why was Leah always crying?  (29:17)
4. What does "ba-Gad" mean?  (30:11)
5. How many times did Lavan change Yaakov's wages? (31:7)
6. How were Bilhah and Zilpah related to Rachel and Leah?  (31:50)

Answers to Toldot Questions

1. How old were Yitzchak and Rivka when they got married? (25:20)


The Torah states explicitly that Yitzchak was 40.  Rashi contends that Rivkah was 3.  The Torah mentions her birth immidiately before Sara's death.  Rashi understands that to mean that she was actually born at that time.  Yitzchak was 37 when Sara died so when Yitzchak was 40 then Rivkah was 3.

2. Where did Rivkah go to inquire of Hashem? (25:22)


Rivkah went to the the study hall of Noach's son Shem and his great grandson Eiver.

3. Why was Yaakov cooking lentils? (25:30)


Rashi says that day Avraham had died and Yitzchak was in mourning.  Since the days of Avraham the Jewish tradition has been to eat round foods when in mourning because round foods remind us that mourning is a turning wheel.  

4. How is Esav compared to a pig? (26:34)


Eisav deceived his father and presented himself as saintly.  The pig has one of the signs of a kosher animal, split hooves, but it does not chew its cud.  As if the pig shows its hooves saying, "look at me, I am kosher."  But his insides are really not.

5. How did Yitzchak become blind? (27:1)


Rashi gives 3 reasons.  1. So that Yaakov should not see Eisav's wives committing idolatry, 2. His sight was somehow impaired at the Akeida (I never really understood that) and 3. It was divinely orchestrated so that the episode with the brachot could occur.

6. How did Yaakov's voice differ from Esav? (25:22)


Yaakov respectfully requested his father to rise.  Eisav ordered his father t rise.

7. In verse 28:5 why does the Torah remind us that Rivka was Yaakov and Esav's mother?


In one of his many demonstrations of humility, Rashi says, "I don't know."

Helping Soviet Jewry Today

Yesterday I helped to bury Boris, a dear friend of mine, who died over Shabbat.  I don't know exactly how old he was, but he was not older than 65. 
Boris and his wife Genya emmigrated from the former Soviet Union in the 90s.  They were regulars at Beth Israel.  Genya died about 6 years ago and since then Boris was a regular at daily minyan in the morning. 

For a number of years, Boris was my Russian tutor.  Once a week, after minyan we would meet in my office for a half hour to study.  Initially we learned from a Russian language text book, and then we moved to a book about Judaism that Boris owned that was written in Russian. 

Unfortunately, Boris lost his voice a number of years ago which made it too dificult for him to teach, but I am proud to say that I was able to write and give a eulogy for Boris in Russian at his funeral. 

The Omaha Jewish community took in a number of Russian Jews in the 1990s.  After the funeral I spoke with a lady that was very involved in setting up apartments for them when they arrived.  She told me how she personally went out to stock the apartments with toiletries and linens, and tried to make sure that the Russians would be made to feel comfortable in their new homes.  I suggested that maybe we start some sort of project to document the Omaha Jewish community's involvment with the Russian Jews. 

She shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.  "Rabbi," she said, "I have never said this to anyone out loud, but I have to tell you that I am not proud of how we treated the Russian Jews.  While it is true that we made it comfortable for them to settle in, once they were settled our community did not do a good job of integrating them."

This struck a painful chord in me as well.  I remember as a kid in gradeschhol the weekly rallies held to free Soviet Jewry.  I recall Rabbis and teachers regularly talking about our Jewish brothers and sisters suffering under communism. Let My People Go!!

Then when I got to high school the Russians were freed and they came to America.  The high school that I went to opened its doors and offered free tuition to Russian students. 
These kids came to our school, they didn't speak the language, didn't know the culture, they looked different, dressed different, spoke funny, and acted different.
There were certainly a few sensitive American kids who reached out to these new immigrants, but what I remember for the most part, including myself, is that we were mean and insensitive to the Russian kids.

I don't know how many other people my age feel this way, but for me it is a past that I am not proud of and a shame that I will never live down.

But that does not mean that it should be forgotten.  It is now going on 20 years since the first wave of Russian Jewish immigrants.  I think it is time to start looking back at that history.  There were many things that the Jewish community can and should be proud of.  Money was given, volunteer hours were spent, and homes were open.  The Omaha community and other American Jewish communities should be proud of that. 
On the other hand, perhaps we could have been friendlier to the immigrants once they were settled.  Why weren't we?  It is worth doing some self exploration to figure that out.  Perhaps it will help us if we are ever faced with a similar situation in the future.  Perhaps it will make us sensitive to people that we could be reaching out to right now.  If we are ever to perfect ourselves, we need to explore and learn from our mistakes in the past.

And finally, the same people who came over 20 years ago are still here.  Many of them were too old to integrate properly.  Some are in need of financial help.  Some are lonely.  Others are alienated from the Jewish community.  While not as severe as the Holocaust, the Russian Jews have a story of persecution that needs to be recorded for posterity.  Engaging an elderly Jew from the former soviet union and taking time to learn their story is something that each of us can do to make sure that their story is never forgotten.

We can never change the past, but there are things that we can do to make sure that the experience of the Russian Jews is one that will help us make a better future.

 

Chief Rabbi sticks it to Steve Jobs

Rabbi Jonathan Sachs, chief Rabbi of the UK, recently made a speech where he had the audacity to criticize Steve Jobs.

The consumer society was laid down by the late Steve Jobs coming down the mountain with two tablets, iPad one and iPad two, and the result is that we now have a culture of iPod, iPhone, iTunes, i, I, I,

But the Rabbi immediately faced harsh criticism that forced him to retract his statements.

I support Rabbi Sachs for criticising Steve Jobs and am disappointed that he did not have the courage to stand by his words.

We all know that Steve Jobs was a great innovator that changed the world.  That has been widely established  There is now a generation of kids who literally venerate - practically idolize - him for his contributions.

All the more reason that it is necessary for someone like Rabbi Sachs to remind us that nobody, no matter how great, is infallible or absolved from criticism.  In fact, in Jewish tradition, the greater the individual the harsher they are judged.

It was certainly inappropriate to criticize Steve Jobs at the time of his death, but some time has past and I believe it is appropriate and necessary to evaluate this character who has become a legendary icon and decide which aspects of his life should be emulated and which should be eschewed.

There were certainly aspects of Steve Jobs character that were deserving of criticism.

• Apple computers was accused and admitted to all kinds of human rights violations, inhumane working conditions, and exploitation of child labor in its factories in China where ipods, ipads, and iphones were made.  In this regard Jobs made Shlomo Rubashkin look like a humanitarian.
• One of the first moves that Steve Jobs made as CEO of Apple was to end its company charitable contribution programs.  Ostensibly it was to save money, but when Apple started turning billions in profits Jobs never reinstated the programs.  Apple is one of the few companies of its size that does not encourage charity by matching employee donations.
• Most of all, Steve Jobs may represent the worst example of radical stinginess since the people of the ancient city of Sodom.  Jobs gave virtually zero personal charity in his lifetime despite the fact that he was one of the richest men of the planet.  Never before had someone so wealthy given so little.  He may stand out as the most uncharitable person in the history of the world.

In Judaism we respect our heroes but we also analyze and critique their lives.  Hagiography certainly exists, but overall the Jews are a stiffed necked people who hold people accountable for the totality of their actions. 

Henry Ford was a great innovator who changed the world, possibly more than Steve Jobs, but overall he was not someone that good people wish to emulate.  Will those who venerate Steve Jobs seek to emulate only the best of what he contributed to the world, or was the Chief Rabbi correct and he will leave a legacy of consumerism, materialism, selfishness, and misery?  Only time will tell, but I applaud the Chief Rabbi for beginning the conversation.  It is just too bad that he retreated to censorship.

Rashi Questions for Toldot

According to Rashi...

1. How old were Yitzchak and Rivka when they got married? (25:20)
2. Where did Rivkah go to inquire of Hashem? (25:22)
3. Why was Yaakov cooking lentils? (25:30)
4. How is Esav compared to a pig? (26:34)
5. How did Yitzchak become blind? (27:1)
6. How did Yaakov's voice differ from Esav? (25:22)
7. In verse 28:5 why does the Torah remind us that Rivka was Yaakov and Esav's mother?

The Other Side of the Palestinian Conflict

This past week, shuls across the world read parshat Chayei Sara which includes the episode of Avraham's purchase of Maarat Hamachpelah, the cave of the patriarchs, found in the city of Hebron.  

From the time of the Bible there was always a Jewish community in Hebron until the Jews were massacred there and then expelled in 1929. Thankfully, in 1967 Israel liberated Hebron and soon after Jews were able to return once again to this historical and religiously significant city.  Today Jews are able to visit Hebron and pray in the spot that according to unbroken Jewish (as well as Muslim) tradition is the same spot mentioned in the Bible.

Today I spoke with my friend Yisrael who was born, raised, and currently lives in Hebron.  For me it has always been an honor to know him and his family.  It is because of them and the other brave families who choose to live in Hebron that the rest of the Jewish world has access to maarat hamachpelah today.  The Arabs in the area have been extremely hostile to the Jewish community there, but the strong and heroic Jewish community refuses to be intimidated and they continue to assert the right of all Jews in Israel to live in Hebron and visit the Jewish holy site.

Unfortunately not everyone sees Yisrael and his family as heroes.  There are many Jews who believe that the Jewish presence in Hebron is an obstacle to peace with the Arabs.  They view the Jewish community in Hebron as religious extremists and fanatics.  

Yisrael is a veteran of the IDF and periodically has served as a guard on American tours to Israel.  A few months ago he served as a guard on a tour of Reform and Conservative Rabbis from all over the United States.  The purpose of the tour was to take Rabbis to view and meet with Palestinian Arabs living on the West Bank.  For a week Yisrael listened to left wing Israeli tour guides speak about the plight of the Arabs in the occupied territories, and about the crimes committed by the Israeli "settlers."  

As hard as it was for him, Yisrael kept quiet and concentrated on the job he was hired for, to protect the Rabbis from the Arabs.  During the long bus rides, one of the younger Rabbis in his 30s sat with Yisrael and they became friends.  

Yisrael told him that he was from Hebron.  The Rabbi said that he had been to Israel over a dozen times, and many times to visit Arab villages on the West Bank, but he had never been to Hebron.  Amazing.  A Rabbi.  He had been to Israel many times.  But he had never once visited the site that is most prominently mentioned in the Torah!  

Yisrael told him that there is a whole other perspective than the one presented on the tour and if the Rabbi would only spend a Shabbat in Hebron with Yisrael it would open his eyes to a whole new world.  The Rabbi said that he was staying a few extra days after the tour and would be delighted if he could take Yisrael up on his Shabbat invitation.  

So Yisrael and the Rabbi spent Shabbat together in Hebron.  They did not discuss politics even one time over Shabbat.  Yisrael brought the Rabbi to pray for his first time at the cave of the patriarchs.  He introduced the Rabbi to his neighbors and friends who live in Hebron.  And the Rabbi for the first time learned about the history of the Jews in Hebron, including the massacre and expulsion of 1929.

There was a time in Jewish history when "The Other Side of the Conflict" meant meeting Arabs and hearing their story.  It seems today that to American Jews the Arab narrative is ubiquitous while the Jewish narrative - even the Biblical narrative - has become obscured to the point that even Rabbis are grossly ignorant.  

After years of hearing the Arab side of the conflict, this young Rabbi was for the first time exposed to his own heritage and roots in Israel.  Undoubtedly he returned to the states with a heightened sensitivity to the rights of Jews to live and visit Hebron and the other Jewish sites in Judea and Samaria.  Yisrael was inspired and since then has started working as a tour guide, trying to connect American Jews with Jewish places like Hebron.  

Perhaps the pendulum has swung so far to the left that it may actually swing back to normalcy.  Maybe Jewish groups that have concentrated heavily on the Arab side may open up to hearing the Jewish side of the story.  Maybe this signifies a return back to the days when Jews used to advocate for the rights of the Jewish people to live and be free in the land of Israel.

Meet my daughter Zoey Shayna

This morning we named our daughter in shul.  Her name is Zoey Shayna.

She was named for my great grandmother - Chaya Shayndle.

I had the privilege of knowing my great grandmother.  She died when I was about 13.  She was one of the great American Jewish heroes.  She came to this country from from Poland in the early 1920s.  Her husband, my great grandfather, died when my grandfather was only 13.  My great grandmother raised my grandfather and his two sisters as a single mother.  She worked as a seamstress in the sweat shops in New York City.

As hard as life was, her commitment to keeping the Torah was unshakable.  In those days there were no laws to protect Jews who wanted to observe Shabbat.  When Friday came she would inform her supervisors that she could not work on Saturday and they would tell her that if she did not come in, she should not bother coming in on Sunday either.  Despite the risk of losing employment, she never broke Shabbat, and she always provided a beautiful Shabbat at home for her children.  This obviously made an impression on them.  At a time in American history when most Jews were abandoning Shabbat, my grandfather and his sisters continued to embrace and cherish the Shabbat and successfully passed that love on to their children as well.

My great grandmother prided herself on this.  At the end of her life she would often say, "when I walk into a room, the biggest Rosh Yeshivas [Rabbis] should stand up [out of respect[ for me for how many of them can say that every one of their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren are shomer Shabbat?"

If she were alive today she would be as proud as ever.  Today there are well over a hundred people alive who are descended from her and every single one of them observes the Shabbat that she fought to maintain.  Raya Liba and Zoey Shayna are her great great grandchildren and my hope is that they continue to love and cherish the Shabbat and all of the mitzvot of the Torah and to have a love for Hashem and the Jewish people just as their great great grandmother did.

So how did we arrive at Zoey Shayna?

The middle name is obvious.  Shayndle is really a diminutive of Shayna which means beautiful.

Chaya was the problem.  We already had a daughter named Raya and we felt that Raya and Chaya would be cute - until they were about 3 and 4 years old.  After that, not so cute.

Chaya is the feminine form of the Hebrew word Chay - life.  So we looked for Hebrew synonyms for life but were surprised that we could not find any (or any that would make a good name).

So if we could not find a word in Hebrew, my wife had the idea of looking for a name in Greek that means life.  The Gemara says that Greek, the language of Noach's son Yefet, is such a beautiful language that it is even permissible to write the Torah in Greek.  There are even a number of Rabbis in the Mishnah who have Greek names like Horkenous, Antignos, and Alexander.

It turns out that the Greek equivalent of Chaya is Zoey.

But we were still a bit uncomfortable.  We really wanted our daughter to have a Hebrew name.

So where did we finally find our comfort?  Obviously, in my favorite city in the entire world - the Holy City of Akko.

Miriam and I were visiting Akko during our last trip to Israel.  We stayed with our good friend Eliad and met his beautiful new daughter Shilat.  I had never heard the name Shilat before.  i asked him what it meant.  he told me that it was an acronym for the verse in Tehilim, "Shviti Hashem Linegdi Tamid" which means, "I place Hashem before me always."  I loved it!!!

So maybe Zoey could be an acronym for something.  This took work.  We scoured the Tanach for anything that would fit.  Then, on Rosh Chodesh my wife found it.  Right before our eyes in Hallel.

Zeh HayOm Esah YHashem

Which is the first half of the verse, "this is the day that Hashem made - rejoice and be happy in it."

Perfect!  What better way to capture the essence of her great great grandmother who held firm for the day of Shabbat and rejoiced in its observance?

My wish to Zoey is that she grow to love Shabbat, and the Torah, and Hashem, and the Jewish people. May she always rejoice in the mitzvot and bring love and happiness to the world.

May she grow up and enter into Torah, Chupa, and Massim Tovim.